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| God's plans are greater. |
When I was 14 years old, God called me to be a missionary.
It was at a conference, the name of which I can’t even remember, filled with
people whose names I don’t recall, in a town somewhere in the middle of
Georgia. None of that matters. In my adolescent mind, this calling meant that
someday I would end up in a faraway country, like India or Papua New Guinea,
ministering to people in a place and culture vastly different from my own. At
18 years of age, this idea seemed cemented as a sure future—as I wandered the
hallways of an international school in Bandung, Indonesia, I heard the Holy
Spirit calling me to be a teacher. In my 18-year-old mind, I decided this meant
that I would be a teacher in an international school somewhere other than the
United States—perhaps Europe? Africa? Back in Indonesia? So, as I entered this second year of teaching here in Minnesota, I was still waiting for the
call to move overseas again. That I would continue to teach in a city not far
from where I grew up, in the Midwest, in America, was inconceivable to me right
after graduating college. That is, until I thought more deeply about what it
really means to be a missionary.
I’ll never forget a conversation I had with my dad while I
was still in college, student teaching, and greatly struggling with the next
steps for my future. Was I doing the right thing by not looking for jobs
overseas? Was I a bad Christian if I didn’t choose to work in the inner city
schools, even though I don’t have a heart for it? My dad’s response: “Find your
Calcutta”. Mother Theresa had many people approach her throughout the years,
asking if they could work alongside her. They felt that because there was such
a need for Christ in Calcutta, they should leave their livelihoods, families,
and countries and come to work in India. Her response: “Find your Calcutta.” Not everyone’s mission
field is the same. In fact, very few people are truly called to be long-term,
overseas missionaries. This revelation shocked me, yet resonated with me and
brought with it a strange sense of peace. I am not less worthy a
Christ-follower or less ambitious a missionary if I stay in my home country to
preach Christ’s salvation. If this is where my heart is, I am not disobeying
God. I am not going against His will.
Maybe someday I’ll move overseas. That dream isn’t dead. But
it could be far, far in my future. It took ten years for the Holy Spirit’s
calling of missions to come to fruition in my life. In those ten years, He
prepared me, molded me, and fashioned my heart to love what I do and have
compassion for those around me. So it’s okay. I trust that wherever God has me,
He will give me a heart for those around me. I no longer try to make
predictions of the future—that would ruin the adventure to which He has called
me, and it would pull my gaze from what He has me doing in the present moment.
Instead, I choose to do my work with all my heart, because it is the messy, beautiful,
redeeming work that Christ has given me to do. In a recent sermon at Eaglebrook
Church, the speaker quoted a phrase that beats life into my heart and sings a
sweet melody of peace to my soul. He said, “God’s will isn’t so much where you
go, but that wherever you go, be faithful.” In Colossians chapter 3, it says,
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not
for man, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a
reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” It’s amazing the freedom that this
brings.
I pondered these things as I finished cleaning up my classroom,
writing my students’ names on their desks, and getting everything ready for
another year of learning. I couldn’t stop the wave of joy that swept through my
entire being as I finally realized: This is my Calcutta. This is my
battlefield. This is my mission. Though it looks nothing like my 14-year-old
self thought it would, it’s better. Truly, “God’s ways are higher that your
ways, His thoughts than your thoughts.” Amen.
