“When you lose, experience is the reward.”
I can’t remember the author of this quote, but after the
past couple of months, its truth resonates deeply. In life, we can’t win ‘em
all. But it’s not our failures or losses that define us; it’s what we do with
them—how we let them affect us, shape us and mold us—that matters.
That includes when we work hard yet still come up short, or
when we practice and do our best for an interview but still don’t get the job.
Or when we don’t get into our dream college or when we experience yet another
broken relationship….the list goes on.
My natural reaction when things like this happen is to feel
discouraged and frustrated and defeated. It’s only natural. And it’s okay for
us to acknowledge when things just suck. But then my friends remind me that
it’s not the end, it could be worse, and that I’m not alone. The experiences
and the processes I’ve been through are what prepare me for the future.
So instead of focusing on the aspects of my life where I’ve
fallen short, I’m choosing instead to appreciate the experience I’ve gained and
to truly understand it as a reward. Because it is a reward, hard-fought and
hard-won, regardless of whether or not the outcomes of my life circumstances
are what I initially hoped for.
Sometimes life just seems against us. Sometimes there are
seasons where it feels like there are more failures than there are wins. I
think it’s perfectly normal to be frustrated and emotional about it, eat some
ice cream, binge-watch some Netflix, or maybe hike a mountain (if you’re me,
you do all of those things). Then, get a good night’s sleep, and look at things
from a new perspective. Dig into the experience you’ve gained, and seek out the
rewards you’ve gained.
For instance, this was the most difficult year of teaching
I’ve ever had, but it grew me in ways no other experience has. I’m more willing
to be brave and take risks to do things I may not otherwise think I’m qualified
for. I face things day by day and step by step, as a way to manage the stress
and anxiety, instead of letting the big picture overwhelm me. And I believe
that if God brought me through this stronger, it has to be to prepare me for
something in my future. The difficulties of this year brought about rewards of
resilience, patience, trust and a stronger faith.
Next time you face a difficulty, failure, or loss, take the
time to feel it, and then start looking for the reward in your experience. It
may be painstaking and difficult and not the most fun thing to do, but as
always—it’s worth it.
