“Hm, what should I look up?” I wondered, as I grabbed my
iPad, plopped on the couch and tapped the Google chrome icon. Usually, my
finger would automatically reach for the Facebook icon, and then start the
scroll through a clogged newsfeed. Ever since I’d gotten rid of it, I’d felt a
new freedom to use my time in more productive ways. “Let’s do some more
research on dog breeds,” I thought. I’ve been thinking for awhile now that I
want to get a dog, and I’m a firm believer in researching breeds that will fit
well with my lifestyle. Without the usual time-suck that Facebook brings, I’m
finally able to sit down and do some searching and planning.
Extra time isn’t the only bonus of leaving Facebook. I’ve
taken a hiatus for a month, maybe a bit longer, and I’ve noticed that I’m more
content. Although I am largely happy with the life I lead and love what I do,
social media presents a projected image of the highlights of people’s lives,
their “glory moments” so to speak, and this in turn can lead to comparison. I’d
started wondering if what I really had WAS great, or if I was, in fact, missing
out on something vital that other people seemed to have found. This lead to the
inevitable and contagious disease called “Fear Of Missing Out”, dubbed “FOMO”
for short. Since I’ve been off of Facebook, I have recognized a decline in FOMO,
and have felt freer to live life in the moment, enjoy it for what it is, and be
more grateful for what I DO have, rather than wanting anything more.
Oddly enough, I have also noticed a decrease in my spending habits
on things that I want rather than need. Now when I go to stores, I bypass material
things that just a month ago would have tempted me with the promise of eliciting
positive reactions from others like, “Oh that dress is SO cute!” or, “I love
your scarf! Where did you get it?” Instead, I go straight to, “Do I want this, or
do I NEED it?” In this change, I have identified a correlation between wanting
to impress others on social media posts and spending money on things I didn’t
need. I did this because I felt the need to project that image of the “perfect
happy life”.
In addition to a general increase in emotional happiness and
a more padded pocketbook, I’ve been able to deepen the relationships that I
already have. I personally believe that there is a natural ebb and flow to
life, a cycle, an introduction of people into our lives just for certain seasons.
Then their presence fades as we eventually part ways to new life seasons.
Facebook, however, tempts us to hold on to relationships that we otherwise would
not continue.
Research shows that humans are meant to have a limited
number of relationships. We only have the emotional and physical capacity to
stay in touch with so many people at a time. This includes about 3-5 people in
our very close circle of friends and family, then an outer circle that
constitutes about 12-15 people. Beyond that, naturally and healthily, we should
have shallower relationships with any larger number of people.
On Facebook, many people have anywhere from 300-1,500
“friends”. This is far too many. The truth may sound callous, cold, and
unfeeling to some, but anyone who has spent a considerable amount of time
researching human health and well-being knows that it is wise for us to set
boundaries in our lives: in work, in social commitments, in time, and yes, even
in our relationships and interactions with other people. This does not mean we
should lack compassion and empathy for those in dire circumstances or for
strangers, but if we are not spreading ourselves so thin with meaningless interactions
on Facebook or other social media channels, logically we should have MORE
compassion and empathy and emotional capacity to love and take care of others
as we should instead of squandering it through a digital newsfeed.
So, by leaving Facebook, those who belong in this present
life season of mine do not magically disappear. The relationships instead
become stronger and more secure. I’ve become a better listener. I’ve become
more conscientious and intentional in my connections with others, and so have
felt a deeper connection with those in my closer circle of friends. I invest
more thoughtfully in specific relationships because I don’t worry about keeping
up too many other fringe relationships or contacts.
Finally, we’re back to the first change I noticed after I
quitted Facebook: time. Whether I like admitting it or not, Facebook was a real
time-consumer for me. With the time I’ve saved from being on social media, I
have explored various other money-making possibilities, have invested more in
my teaching career, and have spent more time doing things that I love an am passionate
about—writing, speech-making, growing my musical talents, and creating products
to sell on teacher websites. I’d say that’s a pretty good trade-off.
Friends and strangers, if these are the benefits that I’ve
noticed in my life just in the past month, I can’t wait to see the long-term
benefits I will experience from having a healthier attitude towards this site. I
hope that, even if you don’t agree with some of my points, you can take some
time to actually reflect on how you’re choosing to invest your time, energy,
and emotions. If you feel Facebook encourages a healthier lifestyle for you,
great! If not, it might be time to say “good-bye” to social media and hello to
a deeper, more satisfying, and more fulfilling life that is no longer projected
through technological means but instead is visible to the real world around
you. I guarantee you—it’ll be worth it.
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